General Sense of Uneasiness


Don’t know why but I just feel uneasy. I can’t sleep but that isn’t really anything new. When I do sleep it has been weird. Usually I don’t dream but lately I’ve been experiencing sleep paralysis and “Old Hag Syndrome.” I don’t know if you know what that is but it is where you feel or see an entity, often an old hag (thus the name), sitting at the end of your bed or in your room watching you. I used to experience this alot as a kid which is why I am terrified of aliens. Stories of alien abduction unlock that irrational childhood nightmare fear in me. I know it is irrational but there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot make it through the movie Fire in the Sky no matter how many times I’ve tried and Communion totally freaked me out.

I’m writing just to write now. I am working on a drawing for my grandma. It was her birthday last weekend but because of my mild depression I haven’t been motivated enough to finish the drawing on time. It doesn’t help that I’ve made some mistakes along the way. I accidentally got some glue on the frame so when I tried to stain it there is a big area on the front corner that resisted the stain. I’m hoping I can sand it down enough to get the stain into the wood but…

Alright, this seems to be turning into a pity party so I’m just going to stop. I’ll post some pictures of the drawing soon. Maybe I’ll try to get something up to bury this post. Blech!